this is it

2010-05-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

Useless Emotion
Twist the knife,
Bury it deeper.
The ties that bind me,
Will not fail.
These traps are strong,
Secure in their right.
I will not fail
I will not destroy
I will not commit
to keeping this alive.
That will go on
That will stay strong
I will live around it
I will try to forget it
I won't succeed.

2010-03-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

Bliss
Wrap your fingers in my hair
Let your lips taste my skin
May your fingers travel where they will

Your heart will beat faster
Your breath will come in gasps

Allow your body to be urgent
Your strength to resist

Accept that your eyes will wander
Over me
Until that moment comes

When we are together again
Our eyes lock and our lips meet
As our bodies rejoice
At the infernal heat

The world will plummet over a cliff
And eventually find footing again

And in the moonlight
As it dances on your face
I'll tell you I love you
And know we created
Bliss

2010-03-10T22:31:00.000-08:00

Her face lifted to face the moonlight. A small knowing smile curved her lips as she rolled and grabbed air. Alarmed slightly she sat up quickly. Darius chuckled low and deep from the shaded corner of the room. Pheonix grabbed a pillow and tossed it at him, hitting her mark. He growled low in his throat and she found herself promptly on her back on the bed. She squirmed against him, and again he chuckled. His lips touched hers and a fire started low in her belly. Her arms twined around his neck drawing him closer as her hips arched upwards towards his instinctively. She moaned as his tongue delved between her lips into the honey sweet depths of her mouth. She ran her nails demurely up his spine, and he nearly purred as the sensation coated his skin. Pulling back slightly he lifted her chin with his finger and ran his tongue gently along the column of her throat, tracing slightly the chain holding the ruby against her skin. He kissed just below it, between the curves of her breasts causing her to arch into his mouth, wanting more. His hands began of their own accord, to wander the flat of her stomach below her navel to the hair line, and back up again to cup her breast. Swiftly his mouth followed his hand ending on her nipple. Licking and teasing it to a stiff peak. She moaned and silently begged for more. He gladly obliged, slightly pressing his erection at her entrance. She swiveled her hips, capturing him inside, as he gasped quietly. Slowly he began to rock farther and farther inside her. Building momentum and torturing her with the intense pleasure. Suddenly she was there and he began to thrust into her wet mound, as she screamed his name out over and over. He saw bliss as well, and collapsed, sated on top of her. Remembering briefly to roll to his side, so he didn't crush her. She sighed, and laid her head on his shoulder.
Much later, thoroughly bathed and dressed (with his help), Pheonix stood on the balcony, waiting, remembering. He walked up behind her and kissed her shoulders, I know it's not something you enjoy, but will you hunt with me? Caught up in the kisses and caresses she had forgotten the gnawing hunger, reminded now, she answered simply, Yes. He smiled, as they flew over the balcony, swiftly landing on the ground fingers entwined, and moonlight glinting off the single ruby dangling around her throat.

2010-03-10T22:09:00.001-08:00

Smiling
My head is spinning
My mind is whirling
My heart is pounding
My face is smiling
My wrists are bleeding
My blood is spilling
My skin is paling
My face is smiling
My world is fading
My eyes are un-seeing
My life is draining
My face is smiling.

2010-01-10T11:35:00.000-08:00

In Your Wake
In the empty day that awaits
I see your strength
Determination
Persistence
Gaining momentum
Passing heights unseen
Causing ripples in effect
Reversal of cause
Options unavailable
Blow it up
Pass it by
Get on with it.

2009-12-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

Shadow Flames
Piercing green eyes
Stare out from the depths
and visions they conjure
devour the bliss
Seduction unwanted
Ignored is a sin
Destroy my skin
With your innocent touch
burn me with lips so eager
Look into my eyes and see
the shadows
that are set afire.

2009-12-11T22:26:00.000-08:00

Warning: PG18 / R

While she looked out over the night she could feel dawn approaching. Like a wool sweater on bare skin, it grated at her. Although she could be in the sun without pain, the feeling was uncomfortable enough that she chose not to. Now though, the itch was not felt, her thoughts overwhelming every sense. Her mind reeling against the thought that Darius didn't want her. Of course he wants you, she argued herself, who else does he have? He's a vampire dummy he doesn't need anyone, she thought to herself. I will be too. Thought faded and her senses cam back to her like a slap in the face. She stood and walked back towards the house slowly, watching the sun come up over the city. A new day, a new night soon.
Morning rested upon her world heavily as she sank deeply into her bed. Closing her eyes, her thoughts roamed, landing on him. On the last evenings encounters, and her fingers played delicately with the ruby hanging from her neck. It's significance unknown to her. Her body relaxed with force and determination. She would not let him ruin her sleep, but as her mind too began to sleep, her dreams did not follow her decree. Her mind filled with thoughts, and memories of him. He swiftly sat down beside her and kissed her brow, her cheek, and finally her lips. She stirred, reluctant to allow her body to awaken. He tugged gently on her hand and she sat up and looked at him, wonder in her features. He lead her slowly to the bathroom, where what must have been hundreds of candles were lit and the tub held hundreds of flower pedals. Lilac, her favorite scent. She realized quite sudden;y that this wasn't a dream and felt shock all over again. He undressed her and kissed her shoulder, "Get comfy, I'll be right back." She walked over to the tub and stepped in slowly to allow her skin to adjust to the heat.
The pedals floated over the water brushing her skin gently as water trickled over her shoulders from her hair. She looked over at him as he entered the darkened room. The smell of lilac swirling thickly in the steam as he moved towards her. He knelt beside the tub and lifted her chin with his fingers towards him until their lips met in a tender caress of delicate skin. As she slid back into the water his hands moved down her shoulders to the flat surface of the water. He dipped his fingertips in creating ever bigger ripples. Trailing slowly down her leg with those same fingers she gasped at the tenderness of his touch. Her eyes closed. She felt his lips making their way back up the same moist path his finger made. Going higher and higher up her thighs making her shiver with anticipation as he neared her mound. He lifted his head and stood. Stepping into the tub he caused water to lap over her nipples giving them a jolt and causing her to gasp, her eyes widened with surprise. He chuckled and lowered himself into the water. Slowly she slid her hands over his chest she kissed him, glad to have him close, to feel his skin. Her lips wandered to his neck as she nipped gently, his eyes closed. Just feeling her every touch, over his chest with her nails and across his hips with her tongue. His stomach quivered eager and wanting. She moved herself to his shaft and slid her tongue along the length, rejoicing at his quick intake of breath. She took him into her mouth sucking and licking while listening to his breathing become labored and shallow. She sat up against the side of the tub and looked at him for a second, then stood and grabbed a towel as she left the room dragging the intoxicating scent with her. Tossing a look over her shoulder she walked to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. She grabbed her lotion from the table and began applying it to her shoulders and arms. He appeared behind her and gently removed the bottle from her hands kissing her shoulders and putting lotion on his own hand to rub into her skin. As he applied the liquid and followed with his lips, kissing down her back and across her stomach and up to her breasts suckling her nipples causing her to arch her back and give him access to her throat. He nibbled with his teeth, careful not to draw blood, as he moved his hand lower and slid his fingers between the moist folds, enticing a delicious moan from her which he captured with his kiss. His lips moved lower leaving her nipples and making her stomach quiver. She nearly screamed with delight as his tongue parted her folds and delved into every spot leaving her breathless. He worked his way back up kissing and teasing slowly. Kissing her as he pushed at her entrance, his shaft hard and silky smooth. As she gasped, surprised, he pushed deep inside her creating a pulse in her womb, and causing her to cry out in pleasure. He thrust deep and fast as she flew over the edge again and again pulsating around him, dragging him down with her. Her nails dug deep into his back as he fell over the edge with her, their world turned a deep dark abyss of pleasure and eachother. He collapsed on top of her as he fell back to earth and laid his head on her shoulder. Both breathing heavily. Comforted by the weight of him on her she sighed and wrapped her arms around him.

2009-12-06T08:24:00.000-08:00

Winter Fun
Softly falling flakes
On a cozy country scene
Tired trees are sleeping
But the country is still awake
Whizzing down the hill
Red on powdered snow
It's a child flying by
Scarf streaming out behind
Excited whoops
Screaming "Let's go again"
And up the hill they trudge
To fly back down again.

2009-11-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

As her head was reeling, Darius was making certain it stayed that way, and losing himself to his own senses in the process. Tugging on her earlobe with his teeth and dragging his nails down her back causing her to arch up and give him a tantalizing veiw. His lips kissed her throat, his teeth skimming her skin, causing a small ripple of blood to errupt from her veins. Gasping he quickly licked the wound and gingerly stood up and away from her, reining his control. Wondering what had happened she lifted herself to her elbows and gave him a puzzled look. He reached into the closet and grabbed a garment, tossing it at her, and removing himself from the room. Knowing she had upset him did nothing for the night which was anything but 'Nice.' It turned from awkward and silent to stressfull and tense. By the time they returned to the house about two hours later they were both willing to go seperate ways and pretend the other didn't exist. Pheonix wandered gradually to her room and sat on the bed staring at nothing in particular. She seen the abandoned clothing scattered across the floor, and the closet door open in haste, and something she didn't expect. On the sheets just below the pillow was a perfect dot, darker than you'd expect of blood, although she recognized it as such. Suddenly she remembered the tiny pain at her throat and Darius' sudden haste to leave. She sat on the edge of her bed and cried. Nothing could keep her tears in. Why couldn't he finish what he had started? Why was her essence so very repulsive to him, now that she wanted him to take it?
Darius walked slowly, taking in the people who passed him and the people who stared and the people who might make a good meal. Passing stores selling clothing and jewellery, he paused, staring in the window at the ruby necklace perched there. Knowing she would have it, if for no other reason than he wanted to give it to her, he walked into the store. A few moments later he walked out again, eyes intensely blue, more so than any human could comprehend, and a box in his hand containing a single red ruby on a white gold chain.
Still crying she felt him enter the house and prepared to leave, not wanting to be near him at all, not wanting him to see the despair and hurt in her eyes. He was there before she could escape him. He seen the tears and the hurt there and felt it as keenly. He dropped the box, the necklace tumbling out, and walked to her wrapping her in his arms cradling her to him. Soaking his shirt with her tears she placed her chin on his shoulder eyes tightly closed and mindlessly pressed kisses to his throat. Although their blood held no appeal to one another, it was still apart of the longing that they held between them. Her eyes open, she noticed the box and something shiny in it. She dropped her arms and walked over to where it had spilled out of the box, and picked it up. Gasping at the near perfection and beauty she found in the single jewel she turned and hugged him more feircely than she thought possible. Knowing he was forgiven he careressed her mind with his thoughts, Why were you crying love? Am I so horrible? He felt her hesitant reply I must be the horrible one, you can't even bear to have a single drop of me without running. What am I to think Darius? He held her tighter and surrounded her with himself Don't think. Know that you are mine and that I can't help but blame myself for recruiting you as a monster, for bringing you closer to hell. When the time is right you will be in hell, because there is nothing to reverse the effects I have already brought upon you. If there were... His thought drifted off. Pheonix stepped back and turned holding the necklace in place for him to clasp. The instant he finished, she was gone, leaving a single thought with him, I'm glad there isn't.

2009-11-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

The black tile in the foyer clicked under her shoes when she entered the house.Standing there, her face gave away every emotion instantaneously. Not that she could hide anything from Darius anyway. Her love, hate, denial, and fear showed clearly in her eyes, and the set of her jaw. He turned his head slowly in her direction as he too felt her presence and the blatant emotion removed itself from her face, she couldn't afford to show so much, not with him. He turned back to the window secondarily and stood up, and without blinking was on the next floor up standing on the balcony looking down at her. "What are your plans for the evening? I was thinking we could do something..." he hesitated "Nice." Her brows arched over her emerald eyes and the smirked "Sounds... Great." She replied trying to smother her giggles of amusement, "Just let me go get some fresh clothes on." Looking finally at her overall appearance he realized some of her supper had missed her mouth and was staining her shirt incriminating and delicious. He was to her in a flash and carrying her back up the stairs, his mouth hard on hers the whole while. Her arms were thrown around his neck and her eyes closed tight devouring him with every other enhanced sense. His smell, like night time revved up, and his taste of midnight honey and bitter chocolate. He laid her down on the bed and looked down and whispered her name softly, his voice like butterfly wings, "Pheonix." Looking up at him she shuddered as her senses became overwhelmed and all she could think of was him, and his touch. His hands undressing her and his teeth nibbling her skin. If thought were possible she would be hoping he felt the same, and knowing he likely didn't...

2009-11-05T12:05:00.001-08:00

Unknown
Confusion denies my heart’s desire
Consumption fills my soul without need
Hurt demands my brain redemption
Sanction my painful wrist
Survive my controlling hands
Love my wicked memories
Destroy my pretty dreams
Crush my toes into ash

2009-11-04T08:06:00.000-08:00

They Will Know
Unheard screams
Unseen tears
That fall from my eyes
But it seems no one cares
Not that they know
I let them see my smiles
Let them hear me laugh
While all the while a voice yells in my head
No where to turn
There is no one there
All around me
They laugh and they smile
These tears feel like acid
These screams taste like poison
They make me weak
I can’t be human
I can solve it all
I can let them see
Everything inside of me
A warm bath drawn
I sink into the water
The acid tears eat my cheeks
But the screams just won’t come
My wrists burn
As the blade slices and tears
ripping down walls
Parting my skin
so blood can flow
and they won’t know
why
Because all they seen were smiles
and all the heard was laughter
They will all know now
about
the unheard screams
the unseen tears

2009-11-04T08:04:00.001-08:00

What was once
What was once
Is no more
What goes up
Must come down
Obvious solutions
Must always go wrong
No luck
Just opinion
Like a singer’s song

2009-11-02T12:37:00.001-08:00

The River
As I sit beside the river
Giving it my pain
The river washes it away
But when you lift a stone
It leaves behind a mirky gray
It beckons me for more secrets
And I cry as I give them away
Then I start to walk away
And as I walk automatically
As if on cruise control
The unforgiving pain returns
So I turn around and go sit down
On a rock that lines the rivers’ shore
I feel his presence
And yearn for his touch
As if a ghost, I feel him with me
Except he’s not dead, neither is he there
I turn and walk a few feet away
The pain returns
The rivers’ beckoning strong
So I turn and with a flying leap
I give myself to the rivers’ rocks
As they bash
And the water churns
I see him only in my mind
Waiting for me
On the rivers’ shore
I fight the curent
But it’s too late
I wake to see the flashing lights
If only for a second he’s by my side
But he’s crying and holding me tight
I try to explain that I’m alright
Then I realize the facts
Like a painful blow
I gave in too soon
And I know it’s cruel
But I wish he’d been in that river too.

2009-10-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

A shadow, nothing more, barely noticeable against the black sky on the other side of the glass he leaned on. Dark thoughts, as dark as the night beside him, ran through his head, regrets. She was too good to be restricted to spending her life in the shadows and depths of the night. He had been too selfish and hadn't enough self control to save her from it, to stop himself. He thought of her and found her in his mind instantly, running through the forest satisfied and full of regret and self-hatred. He thought to her with gentle calmness, I'm sorry for the life you have now, the things you must do now. In the forest she stopped wrapped in his silky voice in her head, and replied with, You warned me, didn't you. It wasn't a question and he hung his head, despising himself. She felt his overwhelming sadness and added, If you hadn't, I wouldn't have found you, I wouldn't be near you, and this is better than the sun. She started running again and Darius knew the conversation was over, the connection severed. He couldn't help but feel regret for being what he was, and who he was, weak willed and entirely not strong enough to resist her. He had followed her for weeks before the meeting in the park, his own fault. For not being strong enough to look away from her to go feed, for following her hungry, knowing he was not strong enough to resist. He hung his head again and waited for her return, with thoughts that now rivaled the darkness outside.
She continued to run, with her mind purposely empty, and concentrated on going faster, and faster. Whipping by the trees and over the undergrowth that only moved marginally as she sped by, leaving everything she passed undisturbed and without evidence of her passing. Seeking the solace of the black, the shadows, that came with the moonless night. Deep sorrow filled her then as she let a thought of her former life, her living life, enter her mind. She stumbled slightly but didn't slow down even a fraction, pushing the thought from her mind again, and in an effort to keep them out, thought of her "life" now. She thought of everything she had now that she didn't, and never would have experienced before the encounter with Darius. Her thoughts turned to him swiftly without her permission, and she stumbled again, this time unable to stop herself from falling. She flew through the trees, fortunately missing them, and landed on her backside on a pile of thankfully soft undergrowth. She sat up and wiped her hands on her jeans, and sat there for a second. Then with the force of all her strength, a considerable amount now, brought both hands down on the soggy earth, frustrated with herself and her thoughts, shaking the ground for a mile around. She could hear the creatures scurry for safety and the ground settle again. She got up and walked the last hundred yards to the house she shared with Darius at the edge of the city. As she walked through the door his presence surrounded her and her breathing tripped momentarily at the shock of the sensations that followed entering his presence.

2009-10-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

Angels in Disguise

uncertainty unease
wraps around like a wet cold blanket
seeking for warmth
in these dark streets
strangers
coins thrown
like peanuts at the zoo
litter thrown around by the breeze
night skys tremble
and threaten rain
paper walls
to protect living souls
innocence is drawn away
confusion to describe it
repulsion to deny it
let us drift away
unheard unseen
forgotten in these streets
shadows to walk on
trip over
cast aside
gaze upon us
survivors in this repulsive race
human to the core
basics back in order
reacting to the chaos
refusing to wonder
what may have been
what could be
live love
be happy
but remember
and be thankful
we are the saints you dont see
the ones you dont remember
the reminder when your forgetful
to be grateful
and thankful
for food
for water
for sturdy walls
we are angels in disguise

2009-10-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

To My True Love
Black Silk.
Pale Skin.
Red Roses.

Timeless Passion.
Endless Heat.

Words Just Can’t Be Found.

Blue Eyes And Green.
Lips.
Melt Together.

Ecstasy. It’s Purest Form.

Driving Need.
Be One.
Two Hearts Beating.

Gasps of Breath.
Deepest sighs.

I Wish.
Now And Forever…

2009-10-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

Cont. Fr. Friday, Oct. 23, 2009

Raven black hair whipped across her face as she stared out over the city lights. The wind crashing through her ears and around her tall figure atop the skyscraper. Trying to deny her hunger, she thinks of Darius. Her eyes softening instantly at the thought of his strong face and deep forever-changing eyes. Regretting her denial she stoops low on the rooftop and leaps forward, free-falling downward. Her favorite part of what she had become, the exhilarating falling sensation.The freedom of flight, without flying. Spotting her next meal, she sweeps down beside a dumpster and walks casually out of the alley. Following the man to his car, she opens the passenger door and steps in. He looks over at her, a surprised and shocked look on his face, but words don't escape his mouth as her eyes change and he laughs and starts the car. During the drive he chatters to her as if they had known each other for years. She hated deceiving innocents, but she had to eat somehow. They round a bend in the road and he pulls over and looks at her quietly, waiting. She looks at him again and leans toward him sliding his tie loose and pulling his collar down to unveil his throat. She slides across the seat, into his lap, straddling him. She kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear, a gentle "Sorry." Moving her mouth lower on his throat, she bites into the tender flesh covering the artery. Blood gushes into her mouth and she moans with pleasure at the rush, the satisfaction. As she finishes, she wipes the memories from his mind and steps from the vehicle, leaving him to awaken later, confused and wondering. With a thought she breaks into a run and disappears faster than the human eye could trace.

2009-10-26T08:27:00.001-07:00

Still, After All
Fog settles heavy against a barren sky.
Buildings slice through yearning to be seen.
Brittle souls walk upon the grass across the city,
And life passes by.

A flowers struggles to grow in the crack of a sidewalk.
Precious petals reach for sunshine.
Helpless insects destroyed all around by heavy feet,
And life goes on.

Great waves crash against wonderous boulders.
A crab crawls on the sand just barely out of reach.
Pearls see their homes die as they are collected,
And life continues.

A miracle is witnessed as a child is born.
Tears falls across cheeks as a mother is buried.
Cold earth is packed around a wood coffin,
And still, after all, life lingers.

2009-10-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

For Love...
Three little words that mean so much,
Give so much, take so much.
Empires have fallen, kingdoms crumbled,
For love, all for love.

Eight letters that accept so much,
Hurt so much, heal so much.
People have died, and many have lied,
For love, all for love.

One moment in which the heart shatters,
Beat faster, breaks.
The world falls back, the world is lost,
For love, all for love.

Two people who trust, who commit,
To sacrifice, to retain.
Religion has denied and admitted,
For love, all for love.

All for your love my Darling,
I could ruin an empire or kingdom.
I could hurt, I could heal.
I could deny, I could admit.
I could let the world fall away and be lost,
For your love, all for your love

2009-10-24T13:34:00.001-07:00

Dreaming of Winter
Footprints in the snow
Scattered amongst the trees
Sunlight sparkles
On gently falling flakes
Laughter floats on a crisp breeze
Skates can be heard
Biting the ice
Gliding and tripping
She looks at him
With laughter behind green eyes
He catches her grin
Pulls her close
His blue eyes shimmer
With Humour
White snowflakes fly
Their butts hit the bank
Laughter bubbles all around them
Through the silence

2009-10-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

A Single Red Rose
A single red rose
A single tear shed
For those we love
For those we held dear
For all that is lost
For all we will gain
Together and apart
Forever and not again
For before
For today
For tomorrow
And everything between

2009-10-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

The night closes in around me as I walk through the park and the fog drifts around my feet. A tingling up my spine causes my feet to move faster, nearly tripping me. A sudden noise in front of me makes me stop. Looking around myself, wondering if I am delusional, and fairly certain I am, something brushes my shoulder, and I whip around to see nothing. I shake my head at myself and continue walking quickly, a small adrenaline rush going through my body, urging me on. A hand clamps over my shoulder and I spin around to stare into bottomless black eyes that seem to bore into my very soul. He grabs my hand gently and leads me, to my own surprise, without protest, to a nearby bench and pushes me down. My senses return to me and I jump up again, suddenly intent on demanding what he wanted. I look at him, opening my mouth to speak, and see a commanding, stunning stare compelling me to sit back down. He continues to stare through me, not seeming to notice I am there, and still I can't speak. Just as suddenly as he came upon me, he was beside me on the bench, talking frantically and certainly in another language, because my mind wouldn't register what he was saying, or didn't want to. When I realized he was warning me, I woke up from the state I was in, (what else could you describe it as) I understood. He wanted me to do something. But what? And then he took my head in his hands, tilted it to the side, and slowly brought his lips to my neck. At the last instant it clicked in my brain, almost audibly. As the thought entered my head, too late, I felt the pressure at my neck and his teeth pierced my skin and with frightening clarity the blood draining, being leached from my veins. That is the night I died.... Well almost.

About the Blogger.

2009-10-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

I write short parts of stories, that in my head, I have the entire book playing through my head like a movie on uber fast forward. In this manner I create within others the horrible urge to beat the rest of the story out of me... or at least I hope I do. I am in my twenties. I have a son and a dog. But I don't write about them. I am greedy that way. They are mine and mine alone. I don't want to share. I write about anything that has nothing to do with me, sometimes the unexpected and sometimes a different version of what hundreds of others have written hundreds of times. Hope you enjoy at least some of it.